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55 poems tagged FUNNY

»A Biblical Perspective«

by Edward Iacona, Sep 22, 2020

The Bible can be a difficult read so / I’ve taken some time and condensed it / It’s mainly about the subject of sin / And God is totally against it. / / The good book also has many stories, / And at the risk of seeming a prude, / Upon reading some of them / They could be considered lewd. / / It also…  sign in to read more »

»Funeral Recipe«

by Fay Mbiwa ThePoet, Nov 20, 2017

INGREDIENTS: / Onions / Red pepper / Robb/menthal / Flat shoes / Wrap round skirt (you might want to fall down) / / PROCEDURE: / Cut the onion into small pieces(remember not to wash it) / The pepper(we call it chillies), please please, do not remove the seeds. / Gently apply the onion and the pepper…  sign in to read more »

»Shingwaya Shintoshi«

by Fay Mbiwa ThePoet, Nov 20, 2017

Shingwaya Shintoshi was / The most scary man I have ever seen / Leave that for another day. / Shingwaya Shintoshi won a lottery / He drowned himsel…  sign in to read more »

»Funny Feeling«

by Bo Lanier, Jun 5, 2016

Well I've got a FUNNY FEELING / I'm gonna be crying the blues / Tonight because you will not be / Home to hold me tight, I've just / Got a FUNNY FEELING I'm gonna / Be laying here in our big ole bed / All alone waiting, just waiting for / You to phone, I've got this FUNNY / FEELING but it's not really funny…  sign in to read more »

»When love makes sense«

by Abongile Gwele, Aug 14, 2015

The air looks like that song that stays on your fingers and makes hearts smile / Your favourite song tastes like a medley of ice-creamcream, pop-corn and marshmallows all dipped in rich darks chocolate / Food sounds like the orchestra of toes in socks strutting their way on wooden floors / Each breath…  sign in to read more »

»Subconscious Emotions«

by Maviyo Nkosi, Aug 13, 2015

I'm immune to hypnosis / but your voice does things that / my mind and body are not in agreement with, / you light up my day even when / Eskom does what it is known for, / your existence create in me the belief / that probably angels might exist, / like a sponge your smile soaks all my worries,…  sign in to read more »

»Mindless Me«

by Uddalak Banerjee, Jan 27, 2015

I love to eat, I love to drink, / I love to sleep, I love to dream, / The more I think or so it seems, / There are no end to my love it seems. / / I have always thought, at times a lot, / but then again I soon forgot, / For me a life never quite ends with a dot, / For it soon changes like a wild moth.…  sign in to read more »

»Power of words«

by Shylet Noma Clint Mncube, Nov 6, 2014

When I was but a young girl I just loved opposites, then I didn't know they attract. / Defying the odds and always being the odd one out, now I only find out it's what they call gender. / Female, feminine, phenomenal are words I started understanding when I became a young woman. / Pubic, puberty is not…  sign in to read more »

»The Voice, Guess who?«

by Shylet Noma Clint Mncube, Aug 4, 2014

I love lonely hearts. / I hate faithful partners. / I love married women and men they are my easy target. / Temptation is my trend. / I hate it when people block me. / I love teenagers who are going through adolescence and life challenges. / I hate it when they abstain. / Guess who? / / I lie but who doesn'…  sign in to read more »

»In love with the idea of you«

by Maviyo Nkosi, Jan 20, 2014

Reality sank in when the words that meant more no longer carried the same weight, the sun rose later than usual, late night phone calls and daily texts a history to the bleeding heart, she no longer drench from the idea of love making but to the reality that your absence and presence represents,…  sign in to read more »

»Late At Night (Sleepless Am I)«

by I Am Myself, Nov 3, 2013

It is late at night, / Sleepless am I. / I'm getting annoyed, / So I let out a sigh. / / I've tried the sheep, / The glass of water, too. / I've tried all the old tricks, / But I'm still awake, so pooh! / / I've listened to silence, / And music as well. / It doesn't appear to be working, / 'Cause I'm still…  sign in to read more »

»Why? Thank You!«

by Shuaib Yunus Soni, Jul 29, 2013

What is love - pray do tell, / I seek it dearly, but what do I know? / The vision's set, the road's mapped out, / But where do I start, where do I go? / Why do I dare? Why do I care? / Do I care? Oh, surely I must... / Why do I stand? Why here did I land? / Where is the reason, what answer do I trust? / I'm…  sign in to read more »

»High Seas«

by Leo Long, Jan 18, 2013

The waves of that night / Were wilder than could be / There was no safe or sound place in sight / And the vessels bobbed like corks upon the sea. / / The churning of the mailstrom with mouth open wide / Pulled me violently nearer with each twist / Deeper still sank i, struggling against the tide,…  sign in to read more »

»Hey Woman«

by Shylet Noma Clint Mncube, Aug 20, 2012

Hey woman, wonderfully and fearfully made. / A flower that blossoms in all seasons, areas and atmospheres. / / Your scent gives breath of fresh air / Your presence brightens the day / / Woman your range and brand does not end / uprooted and planted elsewhere it does not change you, it makes you even…  sign in to read more »

»Time Tells True«

by Edward Iacona, Aug 3, 2012

There's a popular time worn belief / That older people have a hunger / To date or have a relationship with / A person that's much younger. / / At the risk of sounding sarcastic, / There may be a concern to mount. / That, "Age is just a number" relates / To what is in one's bank account. / / Now, dear…  sign in to read more »


by Edward Iacona, Jul 29, 2012

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, / Or so the old cliché goes. / But, there was something missing / As our loving relationship grows. / / We both knew what that was / And what would make us smile. / If only we could find a way that / Makes our connection more tactile. / / Even on the World Wide Web…  sign in to read more »

»Park Place Monopoly«

by Edward Iacona, May 16, 2012

When the weather is pleasant / To escape things that's vitriolic. / My dog and I will go to the park / And bask in a place that's more bucolic. / / Jack is the name of my dog / A concept that would find him "fumin'" / As I am convinced that he truly / Believes I really am his human. / / He must be kept on…  sign in to read more »

»Off the Hook«

by Edward Iacona, Apr 15, 2012

My kids don't like fish very mu…  sign in to read more »

»Free Style«

by Edward Iacona, Mar 28, 2012

It was in ninth grade English class / And my teacher was Miss Joan Frank / It was because of her love of poetry, / That I now have her to blame or thank. / / Poems came alive in her classroom / As we absorbed Lewis Caroll's whimsy / And many years later I still wonder what / And why, Borogoves are mimsey…  sign in to read more »

»New Horizons«

by Edward Iacona, Mar 28, 2012

Well, it's over and I am single / Yet my hopes are not dimmin' / To find someone special in my life, / Sends my imagination swimmin' / A romantic re-start with a loving heart / And with some serious "Shein" ... and "Himin" ... / But this I learned about divorce court, / It's a bad place to try and meet…  sign in to read more »

»Afridi Is king«

by Rabi Ul Islam, Mar 8, 2012

He holds his bat with all his might, / The bowlers bowl with full of fright. / He is the man, he is the king, / He smashes every ball out of the ring. / / Once he entered the pitch by chance, / And changed the game in a single glance. / He is the man depended on hard times, / For he is the king of all the…  sign in to read more »

»The Paws That Refreshes«

by Edward Iacona, Oct 28, 2011

"I just love coming home to my Phil," / She said, "He waits for me at the door / "He wraps his arms around my neck / How could I ever be loved more?" / / "He nuzzles me all over my face / He kisses and then nibbles my chin. / His affection will lift my spirit / No matter the poor mood I'm in." / / Is this…  sign in to read more »


by Edward Iacona, Sep 12, 2011

In math it…  sign in to read more »

»The Singing Beetle«

by Paul Gerard Day, Jul 18, 2011

Once upon a window sill / A little beetle lands / So soft and sweet and soothing / His little song he sang / / Each night at sunset we gathered / To hear his happy tune / Which was the very loudest / Upon each bright full Moon / / Such a plain and ugly little bug / With its black and shiny skin / So clumsy…  sign in to read more »

»Are We There Yet?«

by Edward Iacona, Jun 24, 2011

Feeling again that you've found "the one" / It is difficult to try and assert / That you or yours can love and trust / As if you've never been hurt. / / There may be a tall wall made of fears. / And all the symptoms of Excuse-itis, / Mixed in with memories which may have / More pains than osteoarthritis…  sign in to read more »

»Public Transport«

by Kudyahakudadirwe Voice, May 26, 2011

The coach: third class / Passengers: from all walks of life / Time: 6.30 a.m. / Destination: the city centre / Via several industrial parks. / / The smells hit you / As you approach the door / Threatening to repel you / Away from the morning rush. / / First the aromatic dagga / Fuming from suspect…  sign in to read more »

»Honey...I got something to tell«

by Maureen Direro, May 15, 2011

It's in riddle form, / I hope you can understand / I love you, / yes, I do / Even though I know not what love is / "But with the little I know, I love you" / Memories all flooding, / reminding me that indeed you are special / It's been what? / 8 months, and I still get the goosebumps that I got when we first…  sign in to read more »

»How Do You Like It? (A Prostitute's Anthem)«

by Maureen Direro, May 14, 2011

Soft and tender / Leave you dry / I am a gold digger, / quit school I'm still an 8th grader / Looking for a deep pocket so that I can reach deeper / Neck pains, am used to them / Back pains, had them from since I was twelve years old / Got introduced to a world of pure lust / Got in and was reeled in fast…  sign in to read more »

»Imagine our world«

by Fortunate-Hero Lekgetho, Mar 22, 2011

I had a dream once / about the world in my midst / I had a dream once / about a girl I once knew / I had a dream once / about the things we talked about / / I silently woke up / to find I wasn't asleep / but then I realised / maybe the dream had come true / I had a dream once / I was eating my shoe / / But…  sign in to read more »

»Friday (rats can tell a story)«

by Fortunate-Hero Lekgetho, Mar 2, 2011

my friday reminds me / my december reminds me / of all the days I almost / told you / / but somehow I forgot / some promises I made / but still if you dance / please do / but when you dance in the / rain / and all the spectators wonder about / please don't forget / that my friday reminds me / of all the kisses…  sign in to read more »

»A Song Of The Ages«

by Edward Iacona, Feb 22, 2011

There is a popular mind set, / That on some level might be true, / That when a woman gets older / Her mate will bid her adieu. / / There are no doubt many reasons / For this possible lack of satisfaction, / Maybe one could be her preoccupation / With, "The Power of Attraction". / / Maybe she could…  sign in to read more »

»I Did Not Do It«

by Richard Hexem, Jan 26, 2011

I did not do it, / / I didn't do what I did, / just so she could undo it. / / But, admittedly, / she does do i…  sign in to read more »

»She Doesn't Understand«

by Richard Hexem, Jan 26, 2011

She doesn't understand! / She just doesn't get! / When I say jump, / she had better jump! / When I hook her to the plow, / she had better pull it! / She had better understand, / this…  sign in to read more »

»Sitting On The Pot«

by Richard Hexem, Jan 26, 2011

Sitting on the pot, / where everything / comes too not. / Nothing, / I mean nothing, / if life, / should smell this bad! / Are you dead? / was all she said / before she fled, / with her face tuning red. / I probably am, I said, / with tears in my eyes, / from the fumes that rise / from the toxic gas / emanating…  sign in to read more »

»Strawberries And Cream«

by Richard Hexem, Jan 24, 2011

I like her piled high / with strawberries. / Really! / Strawberries! / With some cream / poured over her top. / You should hear her scream, / When I pour on the cream! / …  sign in to read more »

»What Are You Doing Here«

by Richard Hexem, Jan 24, 2011

What are you doing here, he said. / I said, to all a little spice, / and spoon in a little confusion. / It's 8 degrees outside, and / the wind is kicking around / some of yesterday's snow. / I haven't done that for a while, she said. / get into bed, I said. / Then, she said, holy mosquito! / Look at that…  sign in to read more »

»Touch And Go«

by Richard Hexem, Jan 21, 2011

I touched her and she went. / Where she went, nobody knows. / I follow her scent with my nose, / through these two little holes. / The wind shifted, there she goes. / A half a hole is better / then no hole, at all. / After all, it's about holes, / and where the holes go / when the wind blows. / blow back is a…  sign in to read more »

»Merry Questmas«

by Edward Iacona, Jan 3, 2011

Once upon a Christmas time / That was now many years ago / I was thinking about my Christmases past / With a warm and nostalgic glow. / / I wanted to share my childhood / And all the things I did. / It would give some depth to stories / That start, "Well, when I was a kid..." / / A vivid memory of my youth…  sign in to read more »

»Trickling Love«

by Ryan Gordon Penn, Dec 6, 2010

Allow me into your heart / I want to get to know you better / Why not? Just try me / I promise to do no harm / / But I will wash out the walls of your heart / With fruity smelling liquidy red tingly trickly love / Till the heart beats brand new / then you will give me your soft warm hands and I will…  sign in to read more »

»Sudden Love«

by Maviyo Nkosi, Oct 14, 2010

Through the valley of loneliness he experienced goose bumps with butterflies, / An unexpected smile appeared; he smiled as if he had swallowed a smiley face, / He experienced an enormous energy; a red bull wouldn't give him such energy! / Found her sex appeal so remarkable, / A self-centered…  sign in to read more »

»Culture Shock«

by Edward Iacona, Oct 8, 2010

Surprise! There's a new love interest! / She stole my heart but there's some Angina. / Like many things found here in the states / My special lady was also made in China. / / In learning about each other there's / The "getting to know you" game. / And, it is quite apparent that / Our backgrounds are not…  sign in to read more »

»Just kidding«

by Edward Iacona, Sep 9, 2010

The amount of children a family has / Brings an historical fascination. / From the 1700's to the present day / Regardless of the nation. / / Judging from all the coverage, / On TV and in magazines, / Having many children now, / Is still odd, or so it seems. / / There are interviews and reality shows, / They…  sign in to read more »

»Dead man walking!«

by Milton Toran, Jul 6, 2010

In the tiny community / of Slippery Hole; / everybody knew about / Winston Oslo / / every night he'd curl up, / in his cozy lil' bed; / fluff his feathered pillow / and rest his weary head / / ol' Winston was a smart man, / though he never had a diploma; / at night when he slept, / you'd swear he was in a coma…  sign in to read more »

»If I liked you...«

by Kay Wikajovich, Jun 22, 2010

If I were to like you / I'd like you because / you're driven and smart / / I'd like you because you're tall, tanned and handsome / I'd like you cause you're refreshing and real... / a personality that glows in the dark / / I'd love your sex appeal / your naughty stare / creative ideas / your stark naked…  sign in to read more »

»Garden Party«

by Edward Iacona, Feb 12, 2010

I know that names of products / May often be ostentatious / But I never thought that packs of seeds / Could also be so salacious. / / Varieties mentioned here are real / And this is what I think... / Many gardeners and farmers / Must enjoy an earthy wink... / / To make my point I'll put these names / In…  sign in to read more »

»Pondering Pirates«

by Edward Iacona, Jan 18, 2010

There has remained a fascination / That has lasted through the years, / Of pirates, ships and the treasures / Of those adventurous buccaneers. / / It is very obvious in these times / That pirates are still quite popular / In films and books and games and such / But not the real ones in Somalia. / / We also…  sign in to read more »

»At My Tech And Call«

by Edward Iacona, Dec 4, 2009

Modern technology's a wonder / Just amazing this I know / If I get lost there's my GPS / That will tell me where to go. / / If I am bored at home alone / And want to have some fun, / I can play against Nintendo Wii / Although I have never won. / / For my mathematical prowess / I realize there's no flattery…  sign in to read more »

»Emotional Holiday«

by Edward Iacona, Dec 2, 2009

On this Emotional Holiday / It is time to take a rest / From all the pressure that is life / That just might get you stressed. / / Never mind the constant running / From pillar and to post. / Time to stop the pedaling / And just lean back and coast. / / There are forces out there / That can turn your spirit…  sign in to read more »

»The lie«

by Leon Grobler, Jul 29, 2009

I stand before you and the beautiful sky... / / And I think it is time to clear up this lie... / / You see, I beg to …  sign in to read more »

»Tyre Iron«

by Ryan Gordon Penn, Jul 26, 2009

Been walking these streets, my car's sudden broken, damn piece of crap / Tried to change the tyre but someone stole the bleeming jack / So I kicked it in its bonnet and spat on its windscreen, I'm defiant / Tonight I'm gonna get ya with my tyre iron / / Dark streets, run down flats full of pimps, ho's…  sign in to read more »


by Almir Sabovic, Apr 14, 2009

I heard a noise outside it sounded like a UFO. So I got scared so I went under the blankets. I saw a big light. It felt like I was flying after a while. But, really to tell you I was stranded in the ether also known as outer space. Also I was in a huge rocket tied up. It felt like a runway no way to…  sign in to read more »

»Fish 'n' Chips (Limerick)«

by Andreas Buchholz, Apr 2, 2009

He married sweet Mary from Ipswich, / she ate all the time fish 'n' chips w…  sign in to read more »


by Zandile Mboneni, Mar 23, 2009

With your slight touch my body warms slowly, I struggle as I try to fight your advances. / I give in to your embrace as I can no longer fight my body from giving in to you. / With sweat running through my body I give in completely, as you caress me tenderly. / You finally consume me and with flirting…  sign in to read more »

»Favourite Garment«

by Helen Griggs, Feb 21, 2009

I am a pair of trousers / And I'm hanging in this store / Waiting for someone to buy me / Take me home and to adore / / To be someone's favourite garment / Is the biggest dream of mine / To be washed and ironed and cared for / And worn time after time / / I'm part of a collection / Bright and crisp and…  sign in to read more »

»The Jo'burg Beggar«

by Christopher Kudyahakudadirwe, Nov 21, 2008

In Jo'burg / I saw a beggar / begging / for a bur…  sign in to read more »

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